What If I’m Exhausted?

How I knew it was time to ask for help—and what I want every teacher to know.

Every time the facilitator shared a new idea, I thought to myself:

But what if I’m exhausted?

What if I don’t have the energy to take this back to my coworkers?

What if I’m just trying to stay afloat?

I was at a professional development about being a leader and facilitating teams. It was day 4 of this training, and I really loved the learning but I found myself on the brink of tears again and again.

And then I finally accepted that I was not okay.

I had been trying to help myself and care for myself but nothing was working. I felt like I was drowning. And that’s just not like me. I could barely rise to the surface for air before it felt like life was plunging me back into the water. I needed help outside of myself. This was too big for me on my own and too big even for my family for friends.

When it was time for a short break, I excused myself.

“Is it okay if I make a phone call. I’m actually not okay.”

The facilitators, thankfully and without question, understood and led me into the room next door where I could have privacy.

The door closed behind me, and I took in the room in front of me.

It was the Teen Room, a beautiful, cozy space with overstuffed, well-loved couches…at least 5 of them, organized in a u shape around the room all around one colorful table and a a large screen. I immediately felt my body relax. I felt soothed, held, cared for.

I sat on a couch and looked out the window.

Taking a deep breath, I dialed the employee assistance program that my district offers.

While I was on the phone, I noticed that behind the screen at the front of the room, there was a chalkboard. And someone had secretly drawn a single, small, smiley face.

I took another deep breath, knowing that I was going to be okay. But also knowing that I made the right choice to reach out to talk to a counselor and to set up therapy appointments again. I still wasn’t okay, but it was a start.

I’m sharing this because I know it’s hard to take that first step.

I’m also sharing this because teaching requires a lot of us. We care for young humans while teaching them how to read and write, think critically and support their thinking with evidence, listen and engage in meaningful conversations, analyze and interpret information. And then there’s the work we do to plan and grade and give feedback…and that’s only our life at school.

It’s a lot.

Maybe you don’t even know what kind of support you need.

But I want you to know that if you have an EAP through your district or your job, you can start there.

You don’t have to wait until things become too much.

You can get support.

You don’t have to be alone in the hard parts.

You are not alone in the hard parts.

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Teaching is not for the faint of heart. Remember that you are not alone.

Dear writer, if you need support, please reach out. You are not alone.

I love empowering writers, teachers, and students to explore their stories and explore what it means to live the life of a writer in and out of the classroom. If you know someone who is reflective, values community, connection, and growth, and likes to write, I’d love if you would share this post with them.